Monday, 18 March 2013

To The Moon & Back Before Tea-Time

A belief is a feeling of certainty about something that you know.  As a child you believe anything is possible.  The thought that you would not be able to do something never really enters your head.   Remember when you could fly to the moon and back and still be home for tea- time

Nothing was impossible for you as a child so what happened  to stop you believing it was?  Somehow as we grow up we un-learn the process of believing anything is possible.

Whatever you experience in life will create your belief system. This is like a big storage tank in your body which contains everything that you believe to be true about yourselves, other people and the world around us. It really is an important part of our lives, which most of us are unaware of and pay little attention to, which can be tricky because our belief system is made up of good and not so good beliefs and sometimes things can go wrong.

...But, I can't Juggle! 

One day my son who was 10 years at the time, came to me with a very unhappy look on his face, "Mum, I just can't do this!"  "I'm never going to be able to juggle, it's just too hard," The tears began to well in his eyes and my heart went out to him and although I thought he could do it I refrained from imparting my wisdom on him at that moment.

Instead I asked him how I could help him?  He looked at me quizzically.  "I'm not sure." "OK, I said, maybe if I spent a little time watching you, I could see what you might be doing wrong?"  not that I knew much about juggling but it was a start.  "OK" he said. I smiled to myself thinking - I thought you said you couldn't do it?

I spent a little time watching him, making suggestions on how he could stand, when he should throw, etc. he still kept narrowly missing the catch.  Each time he missed his mouth dropped a little more until eventually, he said, throwing it all to the ground.  "You see, I told you I couldn't do it."

I smiled. He was right. Everything he was telling himself was build on the belief that it was too hard and that he could never master it that because it was difficult he may as well give up. He had been practising the whole morning and I could see that he really really wanted to juggle and yet he was contemplating giving up?

We went back into the house and I made him his favourite drink to cheer him up a little.  I then I ask him to tell me what it would feel and look like if he could juggle, what he had imagined doing with the Diablo before he'd received it (Diablo is a Chinese juggling tool).  He stared at me and began to tell me all the tricks he'd imagined doing - performing to an audience, throwing the Diablo to extreme heights ....

He smiled as he visualise his wonderful performance and his whole body language changed.  He was once again feeling confident.  We walked back into the garden ready to attempt the juggling again.  "So, what do you think, ready to give it another go?  Do you feel you can do it this time?" he nodded with a smile.

I held my breath as he threw the Diablo up into the air.  He waited with arms outstretched waiting to catch it. Thud, it landed at his feet. He began to talk out loud, "that's fine, I'll not throw it too high next time..." again it landed at his feet. He adjusted his stance and threw it up once more, this time he caught it and over the years he's developed his talent more and more.

The Good The Bad & The Ugly  

Because your beliefs are your truth you will find yourself acting out in ways that support each belief. When you have a good belief about yourself this will help you travel through life with ease, give you confidence and help you to become the person you want.  

However, the not so good beliefs will hold you up, discourage you, in a way similar to my son. He was creating a belief that he couldn't and stopped looking for ways that he could.

Another example would be in a relationships. A negative belief such as ‘I am not good enough’ can cause you to lose confidence in yourself and doubt your ability to get what you really want. This belief can stop you taking care of yourself, cause you to stay in a bad relationship because you fear being alone for the rest of your life.

You may avoid taking any risks in life as you are afraid of failure or self sabotage any efforts you make to improve your life and avoid people and situations that can help you break out of your self-defeating patterns simply because you will feel uncomfortable about doing so.

Are You Thinking What I'm Thinking?

Many of our beliefs are formed during childhood.  As the analytical part of the mind is not fully developed until around age thirteen, as children our subconscious mind is like a sponge, soaking up, accepting and believing.

During childhood our self-image and beliefs are formed by what we are told, see and hear from others, in particular our parents and other influential adults. To simply hear the opinions of others such as "you're hopeless" or "you are stupid" are labels that can worm their way into a child's mind and over time manifest into and an acceptance of their own truth and negative belief.

When I Grow Up
OK! The thing is you are no longer a child and yet you will still be carrying around many negative beliefs which you created during your childhood.  Here's the deal, you no longer have to listen or believe that rubbish. Would you believe everything you read in a newspaper, which was printed the year you were born? My guess is no. Things have changed and progressed over time, and so should your belief system!
How to Change Your Belief System

Your beliefs have taken a life time to create so whilst you can begin to shift the foundations some might take a little work. The good news is that once you start to question them you're half way there to getting rid of them.  So where to begin?

  • Think of an area of your life you wish to see changes in.
  • Make a list of the beliefs that you feel are holding you back.
  • Look objectively at your list and write down what evidence you have for each belief. Where it came from, how long ago did you learn this and who was it that taught this you?
  • Now start to question these beliefs.  Write down 3 reasons why they are absolute rubbish.
  • Finally, begin to identify a better belief to have and write down 3 reasons you have that support this new belief.  Choose to believe good things.

Enjoy using this tool and I'm sure you will see some great results. Nevertheless. there is nothing that will get you results as practising does. Happy conscious living. 

If you have any question about this blog I'm happy to receive them.

With warmth